Tag Archives: snort

Stir-fried Tofu (50 excerpt)

Ugh. Just now I popped a piece of stir-fried tofu in my mouth and swallowed, but immediately needed to sneeze. Unable to prevent it, I at least managed to keep my mouth closed, but the pressure of the sneeze forced the tofu up my nasal passage. I started coughing and snorting to try and get it out but it wouldn’t budge, so I drank a sip of my tea in case the heat made a difference. It didn’t, but when I looked down at the kitchen side, the piece of tofu unexpectedly dropped into the back of my throat making me gag and heave the tea back up. In my horror I knocked a heavy knife off the kitchen side, which landed on my toe. I’m traumatised.

Is this what it’s going to be like from now on? Is the body an uncontrollable sack of perplexing embarrassment from your fifties onwards? I need a spa day to recover from merely trying to eat.